DictionaryHere are some words you probably won’t find in any dictionary. Nevertheless, those words may turn out to be very handy 😉

  • Arachnoleptic Fit
    (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
  • Assmosis
    The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
  • BEELZEBUG
    (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 am in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  • BLAMESTORMING
    Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible
  • Bozone
    The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating; The thin layer of clowns just above the stratosphere.
  • Burgacide
    When a hamburger can’t take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
  • Cashtration
    (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
  • CUBE FARM
    An office filled with cubicles
  • Crop Dusting
    Surreptitiously farting while passing through a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to Prairie Dogging.
  • Derflartahide
    The act of coughing or sneezing loudly to hide the sound of flatulation.
  • Deja Flu
    The feeling that you’ve had this cold before.
  • Dopelar Effect
    (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.
  • Intaxication
    (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  • MONKEY BATH
    A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: ‘Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!’
    (If you didn’t get this one, say the ‘oo-aa’ out loud a bit faster.. 😉
  • MYSTERY BUS
    The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you’re in the toilet after your 10th pint and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in
  • OH-NO SECOND
    1. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake (e.g. You’ve hit “reply all”)
    2. 1 nanosecond after you’ve sent your “Take your job & stuff it” email to your boss.
  • PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
    The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again
  • Phonesia
    The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
  • PICASSO BUM
    A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she’s got 4 buttocks
  • Prairie Dogging
    When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
  • SALAD DODGER
    An excellent phrase for an overweight person
  • SALMON DAY
    The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die
  • SEAGULL MANAGER
    A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves
  • Stealth-geek
    (n): one that hides nerdy interests while maintaining a normal outward appearance
  • SWAMP DONKEY
    A deeply unattractive person
  • TART FUEL
    Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women

Thanks go to:  joke-archives.com, dizzy-dee, joe-ks.com.